guest post — Blog — WHOOP THIS

Hey y’all!! Maxstaar here, with a special guest post for my favorite blog on the Interwebz!! 2011 is almost done, and I’m here to talk about my FAVORITE things! I’ve touched on everything from TV to music to events and even animals. So check it out! Or don’t! But mostly… Check it out, or I’ll eat your fucking kids!

CORGIS

Move over Kitteh’s the Corgi has come to take your throne!! Corgis: Those little stubby legged weep woops that always seem to be smiling… how can you NOT love them!? They just look like the ultimate chiller buddy, and having the pleasure of meeting a few of these fine furry friends, I can attest to this!Two years ago, I was living in this horrible guesthouse in Brentwood, under this evil witch of a landlord who made my life ACTUAL hell. The only reason why I didn’t resort to eating glass was the fact that she had two Corgi pups who would run to my door every time they were let outside. They were furry little angels made of light and goodness. Sometimes they’d wander right into the guest house all super casual like “sup?” and roll around/be cute until the evil witch would scream at them to come back to her before exploding into a million bats, or whatever Satan’s minions are known to do. God, I hated that lady. But her pups were my first experience with this magical breed, nd I loved them. I used to pretend they were past tenants she cursed (ADORABLY CURSED, AMIRIGHT?) to be her pets forevermore. I don’t remember their names, but that’s not important right now. I’m tryin to tell a story about the magic of Corgi pups, man!! My very good friend Cameron also has a Corgi pup, Moose, who is one of the coolest dog I’ve met in a minute. With his natural good looks, and mischievous ways, its pretty hard not to squeal when I’m around him. Plus, he’s a 420-friendly pupparoo! And even though he failed puppy school the first round, so did the rest of his class so I guess its actually the INSTRUCTOR lady’s fault, right? Right? Right. I’m glad to have met Moose because I needed new memories/knowledge of Corgis beyond the old witch’s pups. With Tumblr’s like FuckYeahCorgis.tumblr.com its pretty hard NOT to get caught up in the craze whether or not you personally know any Corgi pups yourself! CORGIS: GET INTO ‘EM.

REGULAR SHOW/GUMBALL

Pretty sure I discovered the glory that is REGULAR SHOW with Whoopi himself. This show, aired in 15 minute increments is one of the raunchiest, out there animated cartoons I’ve seen in a MINUTE. I’m so happy that Cartoon Network has replaced what Nickelodeon turned it’s back on: Great, original ANIMATED comedies. Regular Show was created by J.G. Quintel, formerly a creative director for The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (also a tight cartoon). The main characters are a 23yr old blue jay named Mordecai and a raccoon named Rigsby. If you weren’t already sold at “blue jay named Mordecai” then maybe this section isn’t for you… The episodes follow the duo in their super bizarre and surreal misadventures with their friends and foes. With it’s 15 minute format and [adult swim] style of humor, it makes sense that new episodes air at 8pm AFTER Adventure Time (ALSO another great show… but we already know this, DUH). Check it out!!

The Amazing World of Gumball (aka Gumball) is one of the coolest concepts I have seen in awhile as far as character development goes. The show focuses on Gumball (a cat) and his adopted brother Darwin (A fish that inexplicably has legs…) who, liv with their mom and dad (A Cat and a fat Rabbit). Despite their differences in species, all the characters in Gumball’s family are animated in the same style. This is a pretty big deal, since EVERY character in this show is developed/animated in a different way. There are paper cut out characters, stop-motion characters, there are CGI characters, there are PUPPETS. I’m telling you, man, this show is crazy!! Apparently the concept of the show came when the creator, Ben Bocquelet decided to use rejected characters from past pitches, and put them all in a school together. Not only this super cool animation style worth checking out, this show has made me LAUGH. Not just “haha that’s tight” laugh, but stupid, hysterical “oh my god why am I laughing so hard what kind of weed is this? Oh wait I’m not even smoking, am I crazy?” laugh.

MEDICARD

I moved to Los Angeles from Buffalo, NY. Ever heard of it? Great beer, amazing food, horrible sports teams… Yeah you’ve heard of it. Well. Buffalo is a Little bit different from Los Angeles, especially when it comes to laws regarding possession of marijuana. I wont bore you with stupid legal talk (or the fact that a Buffalo cop will cuff you/beat you down for a couple grams of shake that’s probably half oregano…) but let me tell you, being a full fledged/proud Ent, moving to the West Coast was like moving to fuckin Candy Land. I regret waiting so long to get my Medicinal card. I used to stay up and stress about being so far from my parents; my mind would race through all these ridiculous scenarios and I’d geek myself out thinking WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED!? YOU’RE SO FAR. WHAT COULD YOU REALLY DO? Needless to say, anxiety SUCKS, and when I told my doctor about these issues, I was offered a few solutions, one being antidepressants (wut? No.) and the other being medicinal marijuana. Well derp derp derp. Obviously I chose the latter, and since then have been thoroughly enjoying my experiences with the local dispensaries. My current favorite is VHC on Venice blvd and Greenfield St. in the Culver City/Palms area. The staff is super tight and has really helped me out when I have been in a bind… I’m talking like, hooking me up with cheaper strains that do just as good work as the top shelf buds AND doing their best to remember faces/names. One time, I came in super duper upset (bad morning…) and they put on Netflix and smoked me out and talked to me for over an hour about what was going on. Like, what? I’m sorry? Not only are they super tight budtenders but they CARE about their patients! They WANT you to feel better and utilize this medicine the best way possible. So yeah… I guess that’s all I want to say about that. Go weed!

AMERICAN HORROR STORY

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This show. This show makes me shake. I knew I would love it before the pilot even aired: The promos were brilliant… dark and provocative, despite the fact that they offered NO HINTS as to what the series was even about. The first eight minutes of the pilot episode impacted me emotionally on a level I haven’t experienced from a TV SHOW in… ever? The cinematography and editing forces the viewer into this dark twisted world where EVERYTHING is darker, and there are no happy endings. Really makes me feel better about my own life!I really love that it’s not JUST a show about a haunted house. They aren’t JUST scaring you with ghosts and things that go bump in the night, they are playing off very real fears we all have; fears of home invasions, losing touch with your children, infidelity… they cover it all, and manage to sprinkle in the ghosts for an added touch of terror. Season one is ending Dec 21st so if you haven’t watched it yet, all of the episodes are available online/onDemand! Take a day to get twisted up in this amazing story!!Ps. American Horror Story was nominated for Best Dramatic Series AND the incredibly talented Jessica Lange has been nominated for her performance as Best Supporting Actress. Watch even one episode, and I PROMISE you will be rabid for this series, and stanning for it in no time. My favorite episodes? #2, #6, #8, #10. Not saying the others aren’t as good… but those made me scream out loud haha.

COOKING

I used to think it was a cute little quirk that I blew up microwaves on the regular in my attempts to “cook”. Welp. Somewhere along the line, it stopped being cute, and I realized that if I plan on continuing to live alone, I can’t just eat oatmeal and Kool Aid and call it a balanced diet. Not tryin to knock anybody who’s still living on that diet, but I am a growing girl and I needed to learn how to do a bit more for myself. PLUS, I’m gonna be 25 on the 19th and well… not being able to properly make a damn grilled cheese at 25—ESPECIALLY considering what a pot head I am—that’s just SAD. I’ve been exploring everything from pancakes to chicken, and while I still cant hard boil eggs, I think I’m doing pretty well! I’ve really taken a shine to making desserts, and have been using any opportunity to make cake, cupcake cones, puppy chow or even worms and dirt! The big test was Thanksgiving. It was my first one all by myself, and I wanted to do it RIGHT. I planned for about two weeks, and made sure I had everything I needed, and managed to make the ultimate DANKSgiving feast: Cornbread and sausage stuffing, mac and cheese with bacon, sweet mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, cranberry and orange relish and Turkey meatloaf. Seriously! I made all of that!! Whoopi even joined me for dinner and it was the BEST Danksgiving ever!!! YAYYY!!! So yeah, cooking rules. The hardest part is getting all the kitchen accessories you need to properly make a meal… once you take care of that, the rest is easy!!

How about that Moombahton, eh? Granted it was “invented” in 2010, you gotta admit, 2011 has been the time for this genre to EXPLODE across the country. I don’t think I ever had the luxury of watching this genre “quietly build” into the monster it’s turned into. January 2011, I attended Major Rager with performances from Random Citizens, Dillon Francis and Diplo. I remember I was pretty psyched to see Dillon Francis, I was diggin his tracks but didn’t know much about him… What happened that night… my god, people are STILL damaged from it (in all the right ways…). The event itself was initially supposed to be outside the Proud Bird by LAX. But, due to crazy rain, they moved us inside to a ballroom (yaknow, for Bar Mitzvahs and weddings and whatnot…). What happened next… I think there had to be about 4000 kids in this 2000 person ballroom. Diplo and Dillon Francis went SO HARD the walls were literally SWEATING. Like, water just POURED down the walls—there were no leaks… the condensation from the sweaty kids was THAT INTENSE. I remember standing in the back and looking over everybody pulsing to 110bpm and realizing “Fuck. This is it. This movement is happening.” Granted, being in LA just about every event I attend is in some way promoting/involved with Moombahton. The Mad Decent Block Party showcased some of the best acts Moombahton and otherwise as we continued to embrace this amazing genre. Mad Decent even had a Tropical Tent at Camp Bisco in New York this Summer. That is HUGE. HUGE. BEYOND HUGE. So many friends out East called me up after that Festival FREAKING OUT about moombahton (I insisted they go check out the line up), and have since been in love. I’ve been telling everybody “Moombahton saved my life”. Every form: Moombastep, Moombacore, Moombasoul… all of it. I love it. I don’t drive like such a dipshit when I’m listening to it either. And isn’t that the most important thing in LA? Finding music that doesn’t make you want to kill EVERYBODY with your car? Yes… Thank you Moombahton. Thank you for all you do.

VYOU

If there’s one thing I REALLY love, it’s making an ass out of myself on the Internet. As a kid (1999-2002/3ish) I would broadcast my video channel on the CuSeeMe network—the original inspiration for companies like Skype. I was always comfortable talking to strangers via webcam and being an only child, Lord knows I craved more attention than I deserved… So Lil_Blaez (yes, that was my name when I was 12… no I wasn’t smoking weed yet, but I clearly set that one up for myself…) was mildly internet-famous and I got drunk off the power until I made real life friends and never returned. With this in mind, you can imagine how big my eyes got when I came across Yvou. VYou is a conversational video network where anybody can ask you anything and you record your video responses. It’s like Formspring except you don’t have to address the stupid/mean/inappropriate questions unless you WANT to (and the unanswered question wont be posted). I fell out of it around Thanksgiving—Holiday stress has me unable to sit and talk at my computer—but I plan on getting back into it, because I truly believe that in 2012 it is going to BLOW UP!! You can watch my videos, ask questions and judge me here: www.vyou.com/maxstaar. If you’re feelin brave, and thinking you’re having a good hair day, why not sign up yourself!? It’s not like you need a real job where you need to be respected and not acting like an idiot all over the internet… oh wait… #kanyeshrug.

COACHELLA

Coachella 2011 was magical. It was my second year attending, first year camping, and despite the horrific heat wave, I emerged from the Polo Grounds a new Maxstaar. I was blessed to meet tons of new people, and shared the weekend with some of my best homies on the West Coast. Even cooler, my friend Kelly, who I grew up with at my dance studio in Buffalo, NY flew out for the festival and camped with us! Kelly is about 6 years older than me, and I always looked up to her as a dancer and as a strong leader. She now lives in Brooklyn, teaching dance and making waves across the boroughs with her art/dance programs. It was absolutely WILD to be dancing next to her all the way out in California-of all places!! Having a piece of home with me out on the field made my Coachella experience one for the books. Friday’s lineup changed the way I feel about the music I listen to, and I found myself leading 15 kids around from stage to stage before mobbing it over to Chemical Brothers where our faces were completely rearranged. Saturday was just as magical, just a little bit more bruised, and Arcade Fire’s set moved me to the point where strangers were coming up and hugging me because I was dancing/crying/screaming/loving my life SO HARD. I still have trouble listening to Chemical Brothers or Arcade Fire when I’m driving... I shake too much. I love Kanye, but his performance did not captivate me in the least—especially in comparison to the first two nights’ headliners. I DID stay long enough for him to tearfully breakdown and thank his fans for staying by him, and I thought that was pretty tight, but my legs hurt and I was nonplussed by his performance. Thank God for the Watch the Throne tour, or I’d think Kanye had totally lost the magic… this information was obviously false, since everyone I know who has been to WTT has returned with stories of GREATNESS. I left Coachella with no regrets, and I cant believe that we’re so close to counting down to Coachella 2012!!!! Wonder who’s going to make the lineup this year…

Well, kids, those were my favorite things of 2011!! Hope y'all agree with my picks, and if I listed something you’re not familiar with-why not check it out!? Wouldn't kill ya to try something new and weird for a change... Anywho, here's to 2011, a totally wacky/wild year that has me ready for 2012 and all it has to offer. Hope y'all have a safe New Years Eve, and remember to be thankful for all the good times and great memories!!!!

Stay rude, babies.